Briliant Idea!

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, I find myself coming up with wonderful ideas when I am very offline. But I felt that I must share this one with you kids out there.

So you know how every time some public figure dies, they lower the flags to half staff for a few days? Especially when Gerald Ford died, its been a month, and still the flags are half staff. Now this normally wouldn't bother me, except that the Flag Code states two weeks max I believe.

Also, you know how everyone has a sticker on their window to memorialize a dead friend or relative? It is pretty tacky if you ask me. But I had an idea! From now on, any agency honoring the dead is required to put vinyl stickers on the windows of their vehicles. For example, all the post office trucks should be sporting "In Memory Gerald Ford, 1920-2006". What do you think? Golden idea for all the vinyl sticker printers.

New Job

Earlier in a post, I mentioned having an interview with an esteemed university, a university not the one I currently attend. Well last week I was offered said job at university, and I accepted. I meant to blog about it last week, but got busy with the holidays, and the lame class projects I have been burdened with.

Job title will be Systems Manager, and hopefully it will go well. I am a bit apprehensive about it, but honestly felt no choice but to leave the county, lest I be fired for going off on the imbecile co worker, or mouthing off to incompetent leader. However I will miss the comfort of the county life, the coming to work at 8 when I am scheduled for 7:30, getting a day off on moments notice, the 2 hour lunch, the hour long debate over what Kate and Sawyer did on Lost last night.

Over the weekend, when I should be basking in the glow of new employment mixed with turkey leftovers, I felt myself feeling a spot of dread. A revelation came to me... my new job is going to suck as bad as my last job! After pondering for most of this morning, I came to the conclusion that its not just my current place of employ that I don't like, its more the career field I dislike. For 6.5 years I have tended to the computers of others, and I find it to be a trifle bit boring. I feel better about new job now, realizing what has been bothering me for years when it comes to job seeking. Perhaps when I finish my masters I can consider a career change without taking a 30k hit to the pocket book per annum.

EFF the south!

A little amusing tale that I saw on the internet today:

"Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted to leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part of our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those are states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit about what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right to keep your assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to read the first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing lacy-shirt sporting revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead. Boston? Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the fucking monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell and fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American selves and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think those fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states. And it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We started this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for almost a hundred years" dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking arrogant? What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe horsies? I don't think so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be American. And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your fucking bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your Southern values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you fucking Real Americans every day of the goddamn week. Which state do you think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well? Can you guess? It’s fucking Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes, that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to the left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking nation. Think that’s just some aberration? How about this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states, asshole, and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where are the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the worst, the Bible Belt is doing its fucking part.

But two guys making out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you? Yeah? Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little bastards. Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do, right? Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election time. Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing, and then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a workable formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion as much as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy erecting giant stone tablets of the Ten Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal Elite. And who has the highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North, assholes.

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing, federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou, hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time. Fuck off."

From www.fuckthesouth.com

Return of the Mack

Don't call it a comeback, I've been here for years.....

Okay well not really. Obviously I haven't been blogging for quite some time. Not here anyways. Like my friend James Todd Smith who provided the quote above, I have been venturing out into different things. As I type, I am sitting in my graduate information management class and the glorious institution known as Cal State San Bernardino. Yes kids, I have returned to the realm of academia, kicking and screaming the entire way. Why did I choose to return to the place of my undergraduate studies? The school that took my money and gave me little in return other than the piece of paper signed by the now dethroned Grey Davis. Well that is a little big of an overstatement, I did enjoy the social interactions of college, just felt like I missed out. Oh well water under the bridge I guess.

So what is new you might ask? Well found me a girlfriend. Met her surprisingly enough at CSUSB back when we were undergrads, but really started talking to her recently on Myspace, and we have been dating since the Fourth of July.

Work sucks. I recently interviewed at the University of Redlands for a systems manager, and keep hoping to hear the good news, but it has been a week, they were in a hurry to hire someone, so my hopes are waining. Although there was a holiday mixed into the equation.

Well I have dusted off this blog for my class. We have to make a website, and one part of that is a blog. So tada! Here is my entry for that. But in rereading my posts from the days of yore, makes me realize that I really had fun writing the previous posts, so expect to see more of it. Maybe I will mix in a bit of Best Buy gossip, since that is where the ole lady grabs a paycheck, and I spend most of mine! Until next time folks, I bid you well.

Dumb Republicans

Things you have to believe to be a Republican today


Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

If everyone had a gun, teenagers could shoot the angry kid in school before he shoots anyone else.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in public schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

You support states' rights, which mean Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

The Christian Right has a monopoly on family values, and hate is one of them.

The separation of Church and State applies only to nations under Islamic rule.

Bear holds his liquor

I wonder if i partied with this bear in my college days.....
Bear gets shit faced

They should teach him keg stands

Take that Lazy Monkey

Hmm, a cure to a certain monkey problem I have around my office.....
CNN.com - Gene�blocking turns monkeys into workaholics - Aug 11, 2004